In August, Atmadarshan graduated from her Chaplaincy internship at the Cleveland Clinic and started a full-time residency position in their Center for Spiritual Care. She shares how what she learned has changed her life – and can change yours, too.

From the moment I clipped on a “Chaplain” badge, people started treating me differently. Some eyed me suspiciously in the elevators, thinking I visited only to pray with patients or comfort them as they lay dying. I did, in fact, do those things. Some joyfully invited me to celebrate a successful surgery or to bless a newborn. I did those things, too. 

But the most important work I did was sitting with family members who wondered how to best support their ailing loved ones. Would dad want to be kept alive by machines, and if so, how long? What if my sister never wakes up? Would my spouse want our children to see them like this? People agonized that they did not know these answers, that they had never discussed these possibilities.

The biggest lesson that will stick with me from my internship is the importance of talking about death. Many fear that this will make death happen; the truth is, we are all going to die. Let your beloveds know what you want your final days, weeks, or months to look like. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will save them an unbelievable amount of indecision, worry, and guilt – or save yourself these things, if you ever need to take over another’s care.

The biggest lesson from the start of the residency is almost a 180-degree pivot: spend time talking with yourself about your life. Journal, contemplate, go on walks alone, and check in: what am I grateful for in my life? What do I wish were different? What am I waiting for? Ironically, talking about death can open you up to a more sacred view of living. If I were to summarize this learning in just a few words, those words would be, "don’t screw around." The hours and years fly by. Do what makes your heart sing. Tell someone how much you love them. Literally stop and smell the roses. These tips may not sound like much, but in my experience, they make a huge difference.

What lessons have you learned lately, and are you living the wisdom you have gained?